![]() ![]() Your prodigal will be FAR from perfect, so quit expecting them to make up for what they’ve done to destroy your relationship in the past. When your prodigal comes back with sorrow in their hearts for what they’ve done, you must FORGIVE them or NOTHING will EVER be restored and they may be vulnerable only to run all over again. ![]() Yes, although your relationship with your prodigal needs to be rebuilt on solid ground, only your trust in the Lord will heal you and lead to the restoration of your marriage. Your prodigal’s return is not meant to heal your broken heart! God is the only One who can. Let me be clear and warn those standers who are deceived. When a prodigal returns, it will reveal every single area of a stander’s broken heart and where they failed to do their part in seeking God for their healing. A stander with a victimized mentality will only try to make their prodigal pay the price and suffer for their own losses, but these are losses that a prodigal can never return because only God can. A victim mentality isn’t because of what others have done to us, but how we have internalized what they have done to us. What does a stander think will happen when their prodigal returns to them in a victimized state? Some standers honestly believe their victim mentality is due to what their prodigal has done to them, even though many of us as believers already know this isn’t the absolute truth. I wonder what their motives really were in the first place when they had come to me for “help” or was it that some of them just wanted to vent and play victim some more? ![]() I know when I have more interest in what they need to do personally, before their covenant marriages can truly be restored, than they do, I have gone too far and I must back off. To be perfectly honest, there are times when I get so disgusted at the behavior of some standers. I have warned many standers to do their part in their personal relationship with God before their prodigal returns, just as my husband did before I came home. I have prayed over many standers that their prodigal return, but I realized I should have been praying for the stander to seek God and personally prepare themselves first and foremost. It literally breaks my heart to watch God’s plan fall apart. I have witnessed many prodigal’s who have returned home to their standing spouses who have done virtually nothing to prepare for their return, and it is not pretty! As a matter of fact, it’s outright ugly to witness what an unprepared stander will do to their prodigal once they do return to them. ![]()
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